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09 October 2007 @ 01:57 pm
Angsty fanfiction time (because my fish went under the plant to die. ;_;)  
Title: Small Crime
Fandom: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles
Characters: Kurogane/Fai
Prompt: 020. Colourless
Word Count: 624
Rating: T
Summary: Fai reflects on the future he and Kurogane have together.
Author's Notes: I wanted to do a different take on Chapter 167 (which means spoilers), so I produced angst. This is not meant to be considered canon.

Though panting heavily from his recent physical excursion, Kurogane used his remaining arm to playfully pull Fai down next to him, wrapping his arm tightly around the blond to make sure he wasn’t going to go anywhere. Fai stayed perfectly still as Kurogane kept him pressed firmly against his side, listening to the ninja’s breathing. Kurogane had seemed so happy earlier, and Fai had been tempted into allowing the ninja to share that happiness with him for at least a little while. He had his back towards Kurogane, unwilling to force himself to turn around and properly cuddle with the other man. Kurogane didn’t even seem to realize which way Fai had landed next to him as long as he was there and able to be touched. Fai waited patiently as Kurogane’s breathing first steadied then slowed to a sleeping rhythm. Kurogane deserved at least that much after all he had been through, to imagine that the two of them were now blissfully happy together, all past hurts forgotten in light of what they could now share.

Even after he was sure Kurogane was sleeping soundly, likely not to wake even if the building collapsed around them, Fai remained awake with his eyes wide open, lying perfectly still within the enclosure of Kurogane’s arm. He felt terrible about deceiving Kurogane, even going as far as allowing the ninja to make love to him. He had taken deliberate advantage of the fact that Kurogane was getting desperate, clinging to any hope Fai might be willing to give him. He had used that desperation to his own ends, knowing Kurogane would not be able to see through his mask in his present state. Kurogane had reached the point where even if he could see the mask, he was willing to pretend he had imagined things. Fai had known how Kurogane would respond, but more importantly he had known exactly what Kurogane wanted.

Kurogane’s spirit had been so broken by the journey and what he had done; the poor man was willing to accept anything Fai would give him, no matter how fake it was. Kurogane could imagine that it was real, and Fai was willing to pretend for his sake.

Kurogane had not noticed the way Fai had choked on the nickname he had been craving to hear for so long. The ninja wanted it so much, he simply accepted the situation as real and pulled Fai down to his level for a bruising kiss, not seeming to care at the moment if that was really what Fai wanted. Fai had allowed Kurogane to do what he wanted, knowing it would last very long at all. They could take baby steps, small little moments of time until Fai was comfortable with the fact that Kurogane was accepting the lies between them this time.

Ridden with guilt, Fai extracted himself from Kurogane’s arm, slowly so as to not wake the ninja and rose to his feet. He looked down at the sleeping ninja as he refastened the clothes Tomoyo had provided for him. If Kurogane asked him about what happened, Fai would continue to practice lying. Kurogane didn’t need to know he had fallen asleep before anything had really happened. Fai padded silently from the room and made his way to the gardens for fresh air.

He was sure Kurogane would die eventually if they stayed together, yet he knew now that Kurogane would also die were Fai to separate from him. No matter how he thought about the situation, he could not foresee a happy future for the two of them. Still, as he stood out in the cold night air looking up at the sky, he thought a life without Kurogane would be rather colorless.

Bonus points to anyone who knows the song in the link/cut text.
almighty_taka: Lost With In Myselfalmighty_taka on October 9th, 2007 06:22 pm (UTC)
Damien Rice "9 crimes"

Very much like dark chocolate there, bittersweet and leaves a funny taste in your mouth.
jasetsi on October 9th, 2007 06:27 pm (UTC)
I'm strangely happy to find an angsty take on this chapter.. I refused to write anything based on it only because all the "overly fluff" seemed so unbelievable. And even if this piece was enough to break my heart (a little restored by the last line) I must say that I enjoyed it very much!

Damien Rice - 9 Crimes???
jasetsi on October 9th, 2007 06:27 pm (UTC)
Ah.. someone beat me to it^^;;
E'ka: Kurogane sacrificeekas on October 9th, 2007 08:16 pm (UTC)
I'm happy to find someone who appreciated my angsty take on this chapter. Though I have to admit I was originally planning on writing pure fluff. Then I was all "That Kuro-sama was in quotes. Let's play with that." And so this piece was born.

Also glad to find people that know that song. <3
clamp_yuukoclamp_yuuko on October 9th, 2007 10:13 pm (UTC)
Lovely♥ It's really bittersweet. I love the way you did the ending there;)
Lexi: Fai - darklexi_nyanko on October 9th, 2007 10:26 pm (UTC)
....finally. Some angst. Some REAL angst, as I had seen it in my head all this time. Thank you. *hugs*

And I really hope your pets get better!! ;__;
The One Without a Name, Forevermore: poppiesfireflypenance on October 9th, 2007 11:36 pm (UTC)
Ow o.o

That's physically painful for all involved. The piece is beautifully written, but heartwrenching. Lovely.
ariadnechan: kurox fayariadnechan on October 9th, 2007 11:56 pm (UTC)
is a beatifull way to break my heart...
i love it!!
like a glorious car crash in iambic pentameter: matchingiambickilometer on October 10th, 2007 02:57 am (UTC)
167 angst is such a wonderful thing. And this is so beautiful.

But you've a point there. Even if it's not a lie as you've written it here, the adventure is far from over, and I have a feeling there's yet more pain to be had where Kurogane and Fai - especially Fai, if the second curse has not already been fulfilled or thwarted - are concerned. So. What I'm getting at is thank you for writing this, and it's very valid canonically.
abe_chanabe_chan on October 10th, 2007 05:02 pm (UTC)
Owy. ;______;
I am a masochist for read this even after I read angst in the note.
Still, I enjoy this very much. ^-^

It touching and very realistic because let's face it, Fay is an angsty muffin and I really don't think that from now on everything is going to be all sunshine and flowers just like that.

Very good characterization of Fay. As I say, owy but awesome.

Also, you should write one arm!porn now that you mention it. *is stab*
Foxfirem_a_foxfire on October 10th, 2007 09:36 pm (UTC)
*whimpers* How can one person manage that level of crack and this level of gut-punch?
Raku: KuroFailadydusk_raku on October 10th, 2007 11:49 pm (UTC)
It hurts in such a good way. ^-^

And when they are so well written, I don't mind angst or fluff (hell, fluffy angst even) for chap167. :3

When thought out and brilliant enough, they can all seem believable.
Great shot.