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03 October 2007 @ 01:44 pm
Finally ,some Horitsuba Fanfic  
Title: Leave Out All the Rest
Author: ekas
Fandom: Horitsuba Gakuen
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,651
Warnings: Contains spoilers for up to Volume 21 of the manga.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.


Kurogane was fairly sure there were laws about having an open fire on school property, even if it was extremely late at night, or early in the morning depending upon how one wanted to look at the situation, and the location of the fire was on a spot of the campus that was rarely frequented even during the busiest hours of the day. Still, he supposed no one would notice unless something actually caught on fire, and the site was a good bit away from anything that could actually be set ablaze. The fire itself was barely noticeable, one would have to be walking in that vicinity to actually notice the orange glow, and walking in that particular area was not something many people did. In fact, Kurogane would have much rather preferred to be back in his apartment in bed rather than stalking around school grounds lit only by the half moon. He was glad no one else was out at the time, for he was fairly sure anyone seeing him slinking around school property at that hour wearing a black jacket would have contacted the police immediately. Only particular circumstances had driven him to go for a walk so late in the evening, namely worry about a certain blond science teacher’s behavior earlier in the day that had his mind racing so much he decided it would be best to go for a walk and get some fresh air.

Throughout the day, Fai had been acting strange. Or rather, he had been acting strange for a man who spent most of his time smiling and following Kurogane around the school like a lost kitten. He had first noticed the man’s odd behavior when he first arrived in the morning and Fai had neglected to greet him with his normal cheerful energy. Not only that, the man had forgotten to give him his lunch, forcing him into the embarrassment of having to ask for it. Fai produced the lunch, then slumped off to his first class without saying anything to Kurogane. The entire day the blond acted distant, not like he was trying to avoid Kurogane, but like he did not care about the gym teacher’s existence because he had more important things on his mind.

Kurogane simply did not understand what was happening, and his mind kept replaying the man’s disturbing behavior well into the late hours of the night. One day the man was pretending like he wanted to be his boyfriend, and the next he was acting like nothing had the slightest chance of happening between them. He had to wonder if Fai had thought about it too much and decided he did not want to act like Kurogane’s boyfriend after all and was doing his best to convey that message to him without embarrassment. Still, he didn’t understand why the man just couldn’t tell him that. Also, it didn’t explain why the man had seemed to be so sad throughout the day, unless of course, he was upset about potentially hurting Kurogane’s feelings. His head had started to hurt thinking about it, so he had tried to take a shower, but that had done nothing for him. He eventually had decided on the walk to see if he could force himself to think of something else, stalking across the vast expanse of the campus with his hands deep in his pockets. He had been walking for about an hour when he saw the dim orange glow of a fire. Thinking it a potential safety hazard and most certainly against the law, Kurogane went to investigate.

The fire was relatively small and contained, but the sparks were flying high in the air, above the head of the perpetrator whose back was towards him so Kurogane could only see the person’s outline against the glare of the fire. Next to the man, determined by the shape of the form, was a basket filled with something he couldn’t quite see. As he approached, he watched as the man pulled something out of the basket and threw it into the fire. The man was wearing a black turtleneck and Kurogane recognized Fai’s wavy blond hair. “Oi, what the hell are you doing out here so late?” he asked as he stopped by the science teacher’s side on the other side of the basket, making an effort to not peer down into its contents. It would be rude to look at things the man was planning on burning.

Fai was staring at the fire with an unfocused glaze in his eyes, the orange glow dimly reflected. The flickering light made the shadow’s dance across the blond’s pale skin, giving him an almost insubstantial appearance. Kurogane resisted the urge to grab the man’s arm to reassure himself that Fai really did exist. “I’m just taking care of some things,” Fai replied flatly without removing his gaze from the fire.

“Aren’t you cold?” he asked, noticing the man’s complete lack of jacket and not seeing one lying on the ground nearby. He wondered if it would be awkward for both of them were he to offer his jacket to the other man.

“The fire is warm.” Fai’s voice was hoarse like he had been crying, but Kurogane could see no traces of tears on his cheeks.

Kurogane buried his hands further into his pockets and watched the fire. A picture of what he thought looked like a young Fai crumpled and turned into ash. “What are we burning?” The crackling of the fire was starting to worry him, especially when it was coupled with Fai’s absolute silence.

“You can look through the basket if you want.”

Kurogane was wondering mostly why the man was not simply dumping everything into the fire at once. He scooped an old notebook whose cover was falling off from the top of the pile. The writing was clearly of a child’s and the margins held doodles of magical creatures. The contents were the dreams of a young child who still believed in magic, but what caught Kurogane’s attention was the fact that the first few pages contained a letter from a Yuui to Fai, and the next few pages seemed to be a response from Fai. He closed the battered notebook and looked at the blond, searching his eyes for answers he knew wouldn’t be there. “Who is Yuui?”

He wished Fai would stop looking so distant and realize that he was there. “The basket contains my memories of my brother: pictures, letters, and other things we shared.” From Fai’s hollow response, Kurogane decided this brother was no longer around or else he would have heard about him and probably even have met him by this point.

“So your brother’s name was Yuui?” He looked back down at the notebook he was holding, rubbing his thumb gently over the edge and wondering how long Fai had kept that notebook cherished in his possession and how long ago the blond had lost his brother.

With a sad smile, Fai slid the notebook from his hands and threw it onto the fire. They both watched in silence as the flames first curled the edges of the notebook, working quickly towards complete destruction. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about us over the past couple of days,” Fai said so softly it was difficult to hear him over the crackling of the fire. “Will you help me?” Fai asked, indicating the basket on the ground between them.

Kurogane was unsure what he was supposed to be doing, or why they were even doing it, but when Fai bent down to pick up the basket, he bent down to help. He could hear Fai’s breath quicken as they picked it up between the two of them even though the items were not heavy. Sill, as he watched Fai’s forlorn expression gazing down at the letters, he realized the emotional weight was too much for the science teacher to handle on his own. He did not initiate action, but kept his hands steady on the basket as Fai dumped all the contents onto the fire. The blond threw the basket on the ground behind them as soon as it was empty.

Kurogane watched the firelight reflected in those deep blue eyes as Fai bit his lower hip, watching the letters and pictures burn away. He felt powerless, overwhelmed by the vast emotions he witnessed in the flickering shadows on Fai’s face. “Can I ask why we destroyed all memorabilia of your brother?” He felt there had been some great importance in the act they had just performed together which currently only Fai had knowledge of.

“Because I could never truly allow myself to be with you while I was haunted by my past.”

Kurogane was keenly aware of the contrast between the fire and the cool night air as Fai turned to look at him. The science teacher was always so falsely happy at school, Kurogane had never seen him look so vulnerable before. He was filled with the strong urge to pull the frail man into a tight embrace and to burn the memories of his brother again, or possibly to reproduce them. He couldn’t decide which, but he didn’t think it really mattered if he could trust what the man had said. Apparently, Fai had finally made up his mind about what he wanted to be. “Kuro-sama…” Fai moved closer to him not that the basket was no longer between them.

Kurogane forgot about the cold and the heat of the fire as Fai’s lips pressed questioningly against his. The remnants of Fai’s memories were still burning next to them, and Kurogane remembered his earlier concern about Fai being cold. He wrapped his arm around the science teacher, pulling him close, and made Fai forget about the warmth of the fire, replacing it with the warmth of his own body.

 
 
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: The Summer Obsession - Disappear
 
 
 
jasetsi on October 3rd, 2007 06:38 pm (UTC)
This was breath taking.. Really, I can't describe why but I think I have just found a new favourite among your stories. So sad but yet so hopeful and warm. It can be because of my love for the twins but I really, really like this!

and it made me turn my interest away from RP-ing for a moment to read fanfics instead...
E'ka: Decaffinated?ekas on October 3rd, 2007 11:20 pm (UTC)
I wonder if I get better at responding to comments people will comment more..

I'm glad you liked it so much. It was an instant favorite of my own after I finished writing it.

And I know how difficult it is to turn away from RP-ing, so I will consider that a huge compliment. Also, I'm thinking about attempting to post some original writing again soon.
(no subject) - jasetsi on October 4th, 2007 07:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
Nikker ="=: tsubasa - kuro understandingnikkernoodle on October 3rd, 2007 08:18 pm (UTC)
alksdhfs

Girl, I think you just melted my brain out my ears all over again.

That was some serious awsomeness--I loved it ♥
E'ka: Yuuko defaultekas on October 3rd, 2007 11:21 pm (UTC)
*scoops up goo from brain and squishes it back into your ears* I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Trees. They are us.: Let Me Heal Youilcocoabean on October 3rd, 2007 08:47 pm (UTC)
Wow. That's all I have to say. That was simply awesome! ^.^
E'ka: Hot Fuzzekas on October 3rd, 2007 11:22 pm (UTC)
Sometimes the best compliments are the simplest, so thank you.
urania: Yuui smilescarlettohara on October 3rd, 2007 10:10 pm (UTC)
Uhm, okay, so I'm sitting here, staring at the comment box for about five minutes and came to the conclusion, that I actually can't put in words, how much I like this fic, and what exactly it is I like so much... Uhm, well, I'll try anyway.

I just love this atmosphere, it's that beautiful sadness (or the sad beauty?) that really gets me. It's so... Argh! I just hope you know what I mea since you're the one who wrote this.

And how much I love the characterizations. <3 They're so gentle, and just so much IC that I could cry. *sighs happily*
E'ka: Rainekas on October 3rd, 2007 11:24 pm (UTC)
Hello, new commenter. *waves*

I'm glad you appreciated the fic and glad you took the time to find the words to show your appreciation. <3

Besides, it's always heartwarming to hear something loves your characterization. <3
(no subject) - scarlettohara on October 4th, 2007 02:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
twisted_oddity on October 3rd, 2007 11:19 pm (UTC)
Sighhh... absolute love. <3
E'ka: Soumaekas on October 3rd, 2007 11:24 pm (UTC)
<33
youkohiei_fanyoukohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 12:38 am (UTC)
*-* <3 win as always ^^ Fai's finally opening up to Kurogane. Oh, and I found a good Kakei/Saiga icon ^-^
E'ka: Hot Fuzzekas on October 4th, 2007 12:44 am (UTC)
<3 back to you. It sort of reminds me of recent manga chapters. And I feel like a bad girl for writing Horitsuba stand alone when I haven't written Horitsuba Chronicles for such a very long time.


I wish to see that icon.
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 12:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ekas on October 4th, 2007 12:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 12:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ekas on October 4th, 2007 01:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 01:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ekas on October 4th, 2007 02:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 02:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ekas on October 4th, 2007 02:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 02:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ekas on October 4th, 2007 02:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 02:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ekas on October 4th, 2007 02:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 02:52 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ekas on October 4th, 2007 02:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 03:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ekas on October 4th, 2007 03:42 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 03:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ekas on October 4th, 2007 04:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 04:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ekas on October 4th, 2007 12:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 05:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 06:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ekas on October 4th, 2007 06:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 07:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ekas on October 4th, 2007 07:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 07:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ekas on October 4th, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - youkohiei_fan on October 4th, 2007 09:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Wren: fay boringfengtianshi on October 4th, 2007 12:48 am (UTC)
Yay! I missed your Horitsuba! <3
This piece was heartbreaking, I love how you introduced Fay's twin (the real Fay, right?) in Horitsuba! The idea of our Fay burning the memories of his past for Kuro is very sad and tender, it made me want to cry!
Great job, I can't wait for your next production!^^

("Leave out all the rest" like the song by Linkin Park? I love that song! *__*)
E'ka: Horitsuba Defaultekas on October 4th, 2007 02:17 am (UTC)
I've missed writing Horitsuba. And I'm hoping CLAMP will throw some new inspiration at me soon.

(Curses, some one made the song connection. :P I love that song too. I believe I discovered it through a Hot Fuzz music video.)
(no subject) - fengtianshi on October 4th, 2007 11:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
olena_sama: wisholena_sama on October 4th, 2007 12:56 am (UTC)
I love the idea of a fic and the atmosphere.It's just a kind of light angst I like.
The characters are very true also.
What was a great midnight story, a bit sad, but filled with hope...
Thank you!
ユウイ: KuroFai Holitsubasnowaltz on October 4th, 2007 04:53 am (UTC)
I agree that this is very breath-taking. The sentence, “Because I could never truly allow myself to be with you while I was haunted by my past.” totally wow me over..

I'm really glad to see real-Fai appearing in you Holitsuba verse.

The last paragraph is very touching as well.
E'ka: Horitsuba Cuteekas on October 4th, 2007 06:37 pm (UTC)
Fai's twin has always been planned for Horitsuba Chronicles as well. I just haven't gotten to those chapters yet.
Jaina: Beaming Fai!jaina_torsec on October 4th, 2007 09:25 am (UTC)
Yes! Horitsuba is back. And once more this fic is beautiful and moving *____*

What else can I say than thank you and please more? ;)

xxx
(Deleted comment)
E'ka: Hot Fuzzekas on October 4th, 2007 06:52 pm (UTC)
Nope, the whole world is still subjected to the Hot Fuzz craziness/harassment.
ariadnechan: kurox fayariadnechan on October 4th, 2007 11:43 pm (UTC)
this is really awsome!!!!
i can see the fire and the pics burn and even hear it!! i can see the face of Fay in the dancing light of the fire and feel the embrace of Kuro!!